12.18.2010
Confused...errr something
Okay, I know I just wrote an entire post about my dog, but I thought it was funny. You guys just need to meet him and you'll see I'm not making this shit up. Anyway...not that my dog got me thinking (weird) but I just went back and read all my old posts. I realized something. Well actually I've known it all my life, but I don't think I've ever actually "realized" it and taken it seriously. I totally wear my heart on my sleeve and fall way too hard way too fast. Like one day I kinda like someone, the next we need to spend every minute together, then a week later I'm planning our future in my head. OMG I'M CRAZY. Like, literally insane. I'm an awesome friend-that's-a-girl, but I'm a terrible girl-friend. It's no wonder I date all my guy friends. I'm totally myself and awesome (I know, thank you) around them, then I like them back and I get all stupid and crazy. The only problem is, I don't know why and I don't know how to fix it. Where is that crazy switch and how do I make it stay OFF? Why can't I just be me all the time. That awesome person that all my friends love me for? I'm so awesome, I can't even stop saying it (SEE?!?!). I love awesome me. Then I get into a relationship and all that awesomeness disappears and all this crazy lady shit comes out and even my friends think I'm insane but they're too scared to tell me because I'm so insane. It's a viscous circle. It's like, sometimes I say things about my relationships and even normal, awesome me is wondering why I just said that and if anybody really heard (ps, I realized the world is full of catch-22's and we just have to deal with it. weird sidenote). Anyway, I need to figure this out. What do I need to do?? If anyone has any idea how to turn the crazy off...well okay, all girls are crazy, but maybe "tone it down", please help. I'm begging you. I really am awesome and I don't want to be crazy anymore. I want to keep living my life and be able to let others in without completely losing my sanity and self in the process. What to do, what to do?
This Animal Drives Me Absolutely Fucking INSANE
That's right. My dog, Jackson. I swear to God I got the only dog on earth that knows exactly how to piss me off but just enough that I won't kill him. The day I got him, he walked into my apartment and pissed on the floor. I smacked him, told him no and took him directly back outside. He hasn't done it since. I have since learned that he was marking his territory. I know this because when I take him outside, he has to find the PERFECT spot to pee. If he starts going, then realizes it may not be the best spot, he'll stop and hold it for another, better, spot. It's maddening. He can't do it all in one place, he needs to spread it all out as much as he can, which turns a quick run outside into a 10 minute walk around the apartment complex. Once he realizes we're back to our door, he freaks out and tries running to the nearest bush. At first I didn't let him go because I didn't think he'd have anything left in him to go, but once I started taking him to the bush of his choosing, closest to our door, he started getting everything out. I've learned his tricks. So now we take a quick lap around the nearest parking lot and once back to the door, we do our little freak out dance, run to the nearest bush, release and go home. It's annoying, but at least now we have a pattern. Everymorning, 6:30am, the dog gets up, jumps on my face and scratches until I wake up in a fury, try to punch him in the snout and roll over. Then he sits on the floor next to the bed and cries. So I get up, mumbling random mean words at him, take him outside, do our potty dance, then return to bed. But he knows I'm awake. It is NOT sleepy time anymore, it's "play with Jackson" time. He gets all his toys, puts them next to my bed and cries until I yell at him. This morning, he was so mad at me, he started chewing on my $90 tennis shoes. I heard the slobber, jumped out of bed, grabbed the poor shoe and promptly spanked Jackson with it, yelling "BAD DOG" as many times as I could in the process to refrain from killing him. Luckily there was minimal damage and the shoe is still wearable. There are teeth marks, but barely visible. Except to Jackson and I, which will serve as a reminder for me not to leave my shoes out and for him, not to eat them or he'll be spanked with them. In a mean way, I'd love to see him try to chew a stilletto...poor shoes.
Since he's such a "chewer", I bought him tons of bones. First I started out with a bag of three bones, about the size of my fist. That entire bag lasted two days. A single bone lasts about 10 mins. So I upgraded to an entire bag of about 50 flat square "bones". It's literally like a slate of bone. Those last abougt 3 mins. Great for if I need to pee in silence (ugh, which I'll get to later). So I went back to the fucking store to buy my dog yet another bag of bones. This time I got two bones, each the size of my forearm (wrist to elbow). That lasted...about one hour. I wasn't even able to watch an entire movie in peace because of the gnawing, hacking and chewing going on next to me. When that dog eats a bone, he doesn't let it out of his mouth for any amount of time, under any circumstances. Unless he chokes. In which case scares the fucking shit out of me because I am NOT sticking my fingers down that throat, diggin out soggy bone while he wriggles and wailes to get free, all the while panicking and making me panic. Also, I don't know how to give CPR to humans, let alone dogs. So, if he chews that bone too fast and dies, it's his own fucking fault. Don't get me wrong, I'd be destroyed and would probably have to call maintenance to come remove the doggy corpse from my apt, but I'd still be pissed. No other dog here is going to come take that bone away, I don't know why he can't just calmly chew and lick it like any other normal dog. It's like he's in a contest and the winner gets a treat. Like that wasn't enough of a treat.
Now, to the bathroom part. If I dare to close the door to the bathroom all the way, there is major scratching and whining going on. He must think the toilet is some kind of portal to the outside world and I'm going to leave him forever when I sit on it. He needs to be sitting right outside the door watching my every move, making sure I won't be flushing myself away forever. It's terrifying and unsettling. I do not like being stared at when I'm trying to pee. It takes longer.
He's afraid to walk on tile, no joke. So when we do go outside, there's a small triangle shape of tile right inside the door. So he literally JUMPS over it to get out the door. He refuses to walk into the kitchen, which is a good thing, I guess. But somewhat annoying when I'm trying to feed him his medicine and don't want to get it all over the carpet.
His kennel is in the spare room, which you must pass in order to get to my room and the bathroom. So what does Jackson do? He's books it past that room and stares at it once he passes. Like some crazy arms from the kennel are going to reach out and grab him, keeping him locked up forever. I tried to make the kennel a happy place for him. Showing him a treat and putting it in the kennel for him to go in and get, but he's on to me. That first treat is still in the kennel waiting to be eaten. No joke, from the first day I got him. He REFUSES to eat it. Its not that he doesn't like them either, because as long as I'm nowhere near that room, he'll eat them. He's so smart, he's dumb. I swear, I can't explain it. When a car drives by us when we're outside doing the potty polka, he runs around and wraps himself all around me, making me look like a complete idiot, when really, he's the fucking dumbass. I'm pretty sure I've already told you all this in the previous post. Wouldn't you think that by now I'm not going to let him get hit by a car? He's on the leash, he's with me and the car is not aiming at him in a fury with an evil grin yelling "Imma get you Jackson!!! Whahahahhahahahahahhaha" I just don't get it. It's infurating, insane and totally loveable all at once.
OH and his new thing, since he's locked up all day while I'm at work (poor thing) is to tuck his tail inbetween his legs, tuck his ass into his chest and run as fast as he can from one end of the apartment to the other. He runs so fast, it's like a big brown/black blur floating around my apartment. It's really freaky. Once he finally stops, he hacks and coughs for about 2 mins, then drinks an entire bowl of water, drooling all over my carpet.
Having a dog is obviously more work and patience than I ever could have imagined. I'm just glad I got him before I ever had a baby. Woah, can you imagine. I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it.
Since he's such a "chewer", I bought him tons of bones. First I started out with a bag of three bones, about the size of my fist. That entire bag lasted two days. A single bone lasts about 10 mins. So I upgraded to an entire bag of about 50 flat square "bones". It's literally like a slate of bone. Those last abougt 3 mins. Great for if I need to pee in silence (ugh, which I'll get to later). So I went back to the fucking store to buy my dog yet another bag of bones. This time I got two bones, each the size of my forearm (wrist to elbow). That lasted...about one hour. I wasn't even able to watch an entire movie in peace because of the gnawing, hacking and chewing going on next to me. When that dog eats a bone, he doesn't let it out of his mouth for any amount of time, under any circumstances. Unless he chokes. In which case scares the fucking shit out of me because I am NOT sticking my fingers down that throat, diggin out soggy bone while he wriggles and wailes to get free, all the while panicking and making me panic. Also, I don't know how to give CPR to humans, let alone dogs. So, if he chews that bone too fast and dies, it's his own fucking fault. Don't get me wrong, I'd be destroyed and would probably have to call maintenance to come remove the doggy corpse from my apt, but I'd still be pissed. No other dog here is going to come take that bone away, I don't know why he can't just calmly chew and lick it like any other normal dog. It's like he's in a contest and the winner gets a treat. Like that wasn't enough of a treat.
Now, to the bathroom part. If I dare to close the door to the bathroom all the way, there is major scratching and whining going on. He must think the toilet is some kind of portal to the outside world and I'm going to leave him forever when I sit on it. He needs to be sitting right outside the door watching my every move, making sure I won't be flushing myself away forever. It's terrifying and unsettling. I do not like being stared at when I'm trying to pee. It takes longer.
He's afraid to walk on tile, no joke. So when we do go outside, there's a small triangle shape of tile right inside the door. So he literally JUMPS over it to get out the door. He refuses to walk into the kitchen, which is a good thing, I guess. But somewhat annoying when I'm trying to feed him his medicine and don't want to get it all over the carpet.
His kennel is in the spare room, which you must pass in order to get to my room and the bathroom. So what does Jackson do? He's books it past that room and stares at it once he passes. Like some crazy arms from the kennel are going to reach out and grab him, keeping him locked up forever. I tried to make the kennel a happy place for him. Showing him a treat and putting it in the kennel for him to go in and get, but he's on to me. That first treat is still in the kennel waiting to be eaten. No joke, from the first day I got him. He REFUSES to eat it. Its not that he doesn't like them either, because as long as I'm nowhere near that room, he'll eat them. He's so smart, he's dumb. I swear, I can't explain it. When a car drives by us when we're outside doing the potty polka, he runs around and wraps himself all around me, making me look like a complete idiot, when really, he's the fucking dumbass. I'm pretty sure I've already told you all this in the previous post. Wouldn't you think that by now I'm not going to let him get hit by a car? He's on the leash, he's with me and the car is not aiming at him in a fury with an evil grin yelling "Imma get you Jackson!!! Whahahahhahahahahahhaha" I just don't get it. It's infurating, insane and totally loveable all at once.
OH and his new thing, since he's locked up all day while I'm at work (poor thing) is to tuck his tail inbetween his legs, tuck his ass into his chest and run as fast as he can from one end of the apartment to the other. He runs so fast, it's like a big brown/black blur floating around my apartment. It's really freaky. Once he finally stops, he hacks and coughs for about 2 mins, then drinks an entire bowl of water, drooling all over my carpet.
Having a dog is obviously more work and patience than I ever could have imagined. I'm just glad I got him before I ever had a baby. Woah, can you imagine. I'm getting dizzy just thinking about it.
12.13.2010
Random Thoughts
This is going to be a mess, I can already tell.
First things first, I have another interview today!! I've been doing my happy dance for about 5 mins now and I don't plan on stopping at all today. Today is a great day! I say that everymorning and they just seem to keep getting better and better. Although the other night I did have a total and complete breakdown on the phone with my sister. I S'd my P though so that explains ALOT! Like I told my good friend, G, girls do just wanna have fun, but sometimes they just need a good cry and then the world can continue revolving around them. So anyway, about the job, it's with the company I totally want to work for, in a BEAUTIFUL building right in the heart of downtown Phoenix. It's so great. I've always been a "downtown" girl (not in a dirty way). I love the big city with the tall buildings and the ambiance of it all. It's so entertaining and there's something new to see everyday. This is where I want to be and what I want to do. Not to mention, everyone in that office seems so nice and they all know me pretty well. I think we'd get along great and maybe I'll make a friend or two (in a totally non-creepy way). Why is it that when you're in your 20's and trying to make new friends, you always seem like a creep? I guess people are just too judgmental at this age. I'm not ruling myself out because you should see what some of these people wear out here, but really...it's hard to make friends!
Speaking of living "out here", it's a totally different world! People here don't stop at yellow traffic lights. If you do, you're obviously from out of town (me) and you deserve to be honked and stared at. I'm from Detroit, I know how to run red lights, not yellow lights. Excuse Me!! I've also been told I have an accent. I've never been told that before and I was completely flattered. I may have even blushed a little :) I like being different. I'm the generic plain jane girl, brown hair, brown eyes, decent smile, not too fat, not too skinny...not memorable. So it's the little things that make me memorable and I try to instill those things in everyday conversation by telling a dumb joke or saying something witty...if it goes smoothly, people will remember me and if totally mess up the joke or say something dumb, people will remember me. It's a win win and I just have to play the cards I was dealt. I'm adjusting and learning how to be on my own and I really really like it. Back in MI I had tons of friends and places to go. I never had to do anything alone because if I just waited long enough, someone would agree to go somewhere with me. I realize now how stupid and terrible that was. If I wanted to see something or do something, I should NEVER have waited for someone else to go with me. I should have made the decision and went with it. The past three days, I have completely changed my outlook and stopped caring what people may think. Just because I'm alone, doesn't mean I'm a loner. I have people and friends and things to do, but they're busy and this is what I wanted to do. Friday I spent 5 hours at 'The MIM' (Musical Instruments Museum) in Phoenix. The best part about it is it's 5 minutes from my apartment so I can go anytime I want. It's beautiful. They give you a headset to put on and when you walk up to an exhibit, the headset knows where you are and connects to the tv on the wall so you can see and hear the people singing, dancing and playing all the instruments that are displayed. It's simply amazing. I can't even describe it. I never knew there were so many instruments and how simple some of them are. Jamaica for example, they're steel drum is made from the bottom of the large steel barrels we were dumping into the ocean during the war. They made music from America's garbage. It's sad and insipiring all at once. I saw the most of Africa and the Middle East and Israel's music is beautiful. African people wear their instruments and dance. It was beautiful to see people dancing together, smiling and having fun. They don't have the technology that we do and sometimes I wish we could be more like them. They have ritual dances and celebratory dances and fun dances. It blew me away.
Okay, you're probably bored of that so now I'll move on to my dumb dog. Jackson is a real treat because he's so dumb. Well....that's mean, he's not really that dumb, but he's scared. Of EVERYTHING. I don't even know where to start....two nights ago I decided he could sleep in my room instead of in his kennel. So I closed all the doors to my room and turned off the lights and got in bed. He paced the room looking for me and when he finally found me he sat there crying. So I picked him up and put him on the bed. I swear, my bed turned into a trampoline because as soon as his feet touched it and I let go, he bounced right off. So that's apparently not an option. Then he found the closet doors...full size mirrors. Oh boy was that fun. He growled and barked and all the hair on his back stood tall. It was hilarious, I died laughing. He freaked. So he finally laid down on the floor beside my bed and stayed there all night. Last night, same thing only this time I left all the doors open and he was free to roam the aparment. Which he did. He walked from the living room, to my bedroom and back again for almost an hour until he finally laid down in the same spot as the night before and fell asleep. I don't know what his problem is, but as soon as he realizes I'm getting ready for bed, he turns stupid. Same as when we're out for a walk and a car drives by. OMG that's the worst! He hears a car, turns into a statue until he sees it then runs in circles around my legs wrapping me up in his leash. It's a sight, I'm sure. A motorcycle drove by once and he got about 3 ft off the ground up the side of a wall. It was pretty funny.
So anyway...those are my random thoughts. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (which isn't much so don't worry). It's time to get beautified for the day :)
PS, song of the day today is Dirty Bit because I've given in and I totally love it. I can't live without it and I don't know how I have lived this long without it. Oh and Black and Yellow. I don't know what it means, but it's catchy. Real catchy. Maybe it's about bees??? IDK. Loves!
First things first, I have another interview today!! I've been doing my happy dance for about 5 mins now and I don't plan on stopping at all today. Today is a great day! I say that everymorning and they just seem to keep getting better and better. Although the other night I did have a total and complete breakdown on the phone with my sister. I S'd my P though so that explains ALOT! Like I told my good friend, G, girls do just wanna have fun, but sometimes they just need a good cry and then the world can continue revolving around them. So anyway, about the job, it's with the company I totally want to work for, in a BEAUTIFUL building right in the heart of downtown Phoenix. It's so great. I've always been a "downtown" girl (not in a dirty way). I love the big city with the tall buildings and the ambiance of it all. It's so entertaining and there's something new to see everyday. This is where I want to be and what I want to do. Not to mention, everyone in that office seems so nice and they all know me pretty well. I think we'd get along great and maybe I'll make a friend or two (in a totally non-creepy way). Why is it that when you're in your 20's and trying to make new friends, you always seem like a creep? I guess people are just too judgmental at this age. I'm not ruling myself out because you should see what some of these people wear out here, but really...it's hard to make friends!
Speaking of living "out here", it's a totally different world! People here don't stop at yellow traffic lights. If you do, you're obviously from out of town (me) and you deserve to be honked and stared at. I'm from Detroit, I know how to run red lights, not yellow lights. Excuse Me!! I've also been told I have an accent. I've never been told that before and I was completely flattered. I may have even blushed a little :) I like being different. I'm the generic plain jane girl, brown hair, brown eyes, decent smile, not too fat, not too skinny...not memorable. So it's the little things that make me memorable and I try to instill those things in everyday conversation by telling a dumb joke or saying something witty...if it goes smoothly, people will remember me and if totally mess up the joke or say something dumb, people will remember me. It's a win win and I just have to play the cards I was dealt. I'm adjusting and learning how to be on my own and I really really like it. Back in MI I had tons of friends and places to go. I never had to do anything alone because if I just waited long enough, someone would agree to go somewhere with me. I realize now how stupid and terrible that was. If I wanted to see something or do something, I should NEVER have waited for someone else to go with me. I should have made the decision and went with it. The past three days, I have completely changed my outlook and stopped caring what people may think. Just because I'm alone, doesn't mean I'm a loner. I have people and friends and things to do, but they're busy and this is what I wanted to do. Friday I spent 5 hours at 'The MIM' (Musical Instruments Museum) in Phoenix. The best part about it is it's 5 minutes from my apartment so I can go anytime I want. It's beautiful. They give you a headset to put on and when you walk up to an exhibit, the headset knows where you are and connects to the tv on the wall so you can see and hear the people singing, dancing and playing all the instruments that are displayed. It's simply amazing. I can't even describe it. I never knew there were so many instruments and how simple some of them are. Jamaica for example, they're steel drum is made from the bottom of the large steel barrels we were dumping into the ocean during the war. They made music from America's garbage. It's sad and insipiring all at once. I saw the most of Africa and the Middle East and Israel's music is beautiful. African people wear their instruments and dance. It was beautiful to see people dancing together, smiling and having fun. They don't have the technology that we do and sometimes I wish we could be more like them. They have ritual dances and celebratory dances and fun dances. It blew me away.
Okay, you're probably bored of that so now I'll move on to my dumb dog. Jackson is a real treat because he's so dumb. Well....that's mean, he's not really that dumb, but he's scared. Of EVERYTHING. I don't even know where to start....two nights ago I decided he could sleep in my room instead of in his kennel. So I closed all the doors to my room and turned off the lights and got in bed. He paced the room looking for me and when he finally found me he sat there crying. So I picked him up and put him on the bed. I swear, my bed turned into a trampoline because as soon as his feet touched it and I let go, he bounced right off. So that's apparently not an option. Then he found the closet doors...full size mirrors. Oh boy was that fun. He growled and barked and all the hair on his back stood tall. It was hilarious, I died laughing. He freaked. So he finally laid down on the floor beside my bed and stayed there all night. Last night, same thing only this time I left all the doors open and he was free to roam the aparment. Which he did. He walked from the living room, to my bedroom and back again for almost an hour until he finally laid down in the same spot as the night before and fell asleep. I don't know what his problem is, but as soon as he realizes I'm getting ready for bed, he turns stupid. Same as when we're out for a walk and a car drives by. OMG that's the worst! He hears a car, turns into a statue until he sees it then runs in circles around my legs wrapping me up in his leash. It's a sight, I'm sure. A motorcycle drove by once and he got about 3 ft off the ground up the side of a wall. It was pretty funny.
So anyway...those are my random thoughts. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it (which isn't much so don't worry). It's time to get beautified for the day :)
PS, song of the day today is Dirty Bit because I've given in and I totally love it. I can't live without it and I don't know how I have lived this long without it. Oh and Black and Yellow. I don't know what it means, but it's catchy. Real catchy. Maybe it's about bees??? IDK. Loves!
12.10.2010
I wish I could read this aloud to you so you could understand the animations (**UPDATED)
Yea, it's been a while. If you read my last post (from 5 mins ago) you will see that I came back with a vengeance. I have nothing to prove, no one to impress and everything to say. I also might still have some anger issues towards a certain person. Bet'ya can't guess where they're from (if you read my last post you'll get it). Haha anyway...So I've been in Phoenix for exactly a week now. I can honestly say that I LOVE it (no go back and say it again in a sing-song voice)! It's sunshine and roses and butterflies on lillies and having your cake and eating it too. It's everything I thought it would be and more. Seriously, I've only been here a week. I need to make friends and get a job though. Two pretty important things. But I have an apartment and I just got myself a puppy friend. Well he's not really a puppy, but he might be. See, the Humane Society (where I RESCUED him from!!) said he's 2 yrs, 2 months old. Then today the Vet told me there's no way he's more than two years old and he knows this because "Jackson's teeth are impeccable". Did you get that? My dog's teeth are better than mine. Granted, I have 24 years on the animal but that's just not something you want to hear at 8:00 in the morning...after the dog shit in the waiting room. Yep.
Okay so where was I? I'm rambling...Oh the job! Yes, I need one. I've applied at countless places, online, on the phone, in person, everything. Finding a job is just as hard as having a job. Well not that having a job is hard but the first couple weeks at a new job is always a bit difficult. There's always the rules then the "rules". Those unspeakable invisible lines that no one crosses but when they do...boy do they hear about it. Proceed with caution!
I'm kinda hoping I get a job at one of the breweries I applied at. I'm sure there's at least one cool person there and there's beer. I mean c'mon...what's bad about that? Plus, the three I applied for are all in this great shopping center called Desert Ridge in Phoenix (I looked it up on Bing maps, it's seriously in the middle of a desert). G.W. Bush was there today...just sayin.
That brings me back to how beautiful Arizona is (the desert, not Bush). Everytime I drive on the freeway down to Scottsdale, I pass these gorgeous mountains with humongous houses on the top and the sun is reflecting off the windows and it's just so beautiful. I get a different feeling everytime I drive by. Sometimes is disbelief, sometimes it's total bliss and sometimes it's pure happiness. It's always a good feeling, so that's good.
I miss my friends and family back in MI and I hope they miss me. It's difficult because I'm starting over out here all alone and I still need them because I don't have much out here and they're still busy living their lives. They're working or going out or most of the time, when I want to talk, it's already late there and they're sleeping. Sometimes I get sad that I can't just get in my car and drive to my friend's house or over to my sister's place but I just have to force myself to think of something else.
And my car...there's another sore subject. I miss my little black go-kart more than anything. I'm sorry girls but my car is the fucking bomb and I want it back. This gas guzzling monster truck squeaks and bangs, and makes all kinds of loud noises I don't know how to handle. It scares me. I also get annoyed when I look into my rearview mirror and see a tire. Yes, a tire. It's weird and it gets me every time. I look back and "WTF IS THAT??" Oh, it's just a FUCKING TIRE. Yep. Sorry Steph :)
Oh and I said I was going to quit smoking when I got here...I haven't had one since last night and I think I may die. That's right. Die. From NOT having a cigarette. Chew on that non-smokers. I have an idea where all this rage is coming from...
**UPDATE: This was supposed to be published last night, but my stupid internet decided to crash as soon as I hit the "Publish" button. Go figure. Thank god it saved or I might not even have a computer anymore. It was pretty heartfelt.
Okay so where was I? I'm rambling...Oh the job! Yes, I need one. I've applied at countless places, online, on the phone, in person, everything. Finding a job is just as hard as having a job. Well not that having a job is hard but the first couple weeks at a new job is always a bit difficult. There's always the rules then the "rules". Those unspeakable invisible lines that no one crosses but when they do...boy do they hear about it. Proceed with caution!
I'm kinda hoping I get a job at one of the breweries I applied at. I'm sure there's at least one cool person there and there's beer. I mean c'mon...what's bad about that? Plus, the three I applied for are all in this great shopping center called Desert Ridge in Phoenix (I looked it up on Bing maps, it's seriously in the middle of a desert). G.W. Bush was there today...just sayin.
That brings me back to how beautiful Arizona is (the desert, not Bush). Everytime I drive on the freeway down to Scottsdale, I pass these gorgeous mountains with humongous houses on the top and the sun is reflecting off the windows and it's just so beautiful. I get a different feeling everytime I drive by. Sometimes is disbelief, sometimes it's total bliss and sometimes it's pure happiness. It's always a good feeling, so that's good.
I miss my friends and family back in MI and I hope they miss me. It's difficult because I'm starting over out here all alone and I still need them because I don't have much out here and they're still busy living their lives. They're working or going out or most of the time, when I want to talk, it's already late there and they're sleeping. Sometimes I get sad that I can't just get in my car and drive to my friend's house or over to my sister's place but I just have to force myself to think of something else.
And my car...there's another sore subject. I miss my little black go-kart more than anything. I'm sorry girls but my car is the fucking bomb and I want it back. This gas guzzling monster truck squeaks and bangs, and makes all kinds of loud noises I don't know how to handle. It scares me. I also get annoyed when I look into my rearview mirror and see a tire. Yes, a tire. It's weird and it gets me every time. I look back and "WTF IS THAT??" Oh, it's just a FUCKING TIRE. Yep. Sorry Steph :)
Oh and I said I was going to quit smoking when I got here...I haven't had one since last night and I think I may die. That's right. Die. From NOT having a cigarette. Chew on that non-smokers. I have an idea where all this rage is coming from...
**UPDATE: This was supposed to be published last night, but my stupid internet decided to crash as soon as I hit the "Publish" button. Go figure. Thank god it saved or I might not even have a computer anymore. It was pretty heartfelt.
Eat Shit
I really really really dislike people from Minnesota. Every single person I've met from there thinks their shit don't stink and they're basically a gift from god to every other person on Earth. They feel bad for people who don't live there and treat the rest of us like we just aren't good enough and need an invitation to even be speaking to them. I mean really, who do they think they are? It ain't that great people...it's FUCKING COLD!!! It's like negative degrees 5 months out of they year! Who wants that?? That's so depressing. Okay, so your city is clean...woopty fucking do. You know why it's so clean?? Because you have snow those same 5 months out of the year!!!! So please, do us all a favor and get off your high horses and live in modesty like the rest of us. You'll have fun down here, I promise.
PS: this might have a little something to do with a certain person, but I've met a few other Minnesotians (whatever, I hope I got it wrong), since moving to AZ and they STILL talk about it like it's god's holy ground. If it's so great...why are you here? Nobody wants you here if you're going to be talking like that. Go back. Beat it. Scram.
PS: this might have a little something to do with a certain person, but I've met a few other Minnesotians (whatever, I hope I got it wrong), since moving to AZ and they STILL talk about it like it's god's holy ground. If it's so great...why are you here? Nobody wants you here if you're going to be talking like that. Go back. Beat it. Scram.
9.09.2010
I Love Me, You Should Too
I've been a very bad blogger. I have so much happen to me all the time but I have a hard time telling just a snippet from each story that I just become overwhelmed and decide not to do anything. But I loove doing "fill in the blanks". I found this from "The World Is My Oyster" (as soon as I can figure out how to do the link HERE thingy, I will...I'm still a beginner) and I love reading them. She gives great answers and inspires me to think deep. Here it goes:
{one} what was your first pet and how did you come up with its name?
The first pet my family had was Breezy and she was around before I was. Our second pet was a black lab/german sheperd mix and her name was Shelby. My dad named her after the Shelby Mustang. We didn't have her very long (long story, she died, guess it's not that long) so then we got Ebony. She was obviously named for her color (black) and my sisters and I made her middle name Belle after the character in Beauty and the Beast.
{two} do you like your ice crushed or cubed?
Weird question, but I prefer cubed. When its crushed I end up swallowing it when I don't intend to and choking on it. It's not pleasant.
{three} do you believe in love at first sight?
No, I believe in lust at first sight. Love is a stong word and I try not to use it unless I know I really mean it. Love at first sight is for the movies.
{four} do you have any nicknames?
Erj, Eirbear, Erhead, and my favorite "E", created by my best friends daughter, Kylie.
{five} what movie do you never get tired of watching?
500 Days of Summer. I bought it before ever seeing it and as soon as it was over I started it again. I fell in love at first sight haha.
{six} how do you like your eggs cooked?
I'm not a huge fan of eggs, but when I have them, they're usually scrambled.
{seven} are you named after anyone in particular?
Not my first name, that I know of. But my middle name is my mom's middle name. I like it.
{eight} what are three things that you would like to do that you haven't done yet?
Live somewhere outside of Michigan
Be my own boss
Travel across Europe
{nine} what one thing always brightens your mood?
All I need is a good beat and the sunshine and I'll have myself a great day.
{ten} what five things will you always find in your purse?
Wallet
Phone
Chapstick
Keys
bobby pins and hair ties
{eleven} if I didn't have to work anymore I would...
travel the world, go anywhere I want and stay as long as I want (of course that requires money, so I guess I'd have to win the lottery too)
{twelve} my favorite thing about vacation is...
seeing everything new and exciting.
{thirteen} when I pack for a trip I...
always always always overpack. I can't remember the last time I've forgotten to pack something. I'd rather have too much than not enough.
{fourteen} if I could go on a road trip with anyone (dead or alive) I would choose...
I have two answers, My best friend Bri and my sister Megan. I've been on a couple road trips with both of them and the fun is neverending and we undestand eachother so we'd get along just fine in a car for a few hours.
{fifteen} my top 3 absolute travel essentials are...
hmm, this is hard for me. I always like having a cute, comfortable outfit I can walk around in while looking nice. I need to know the greatest places to go for food/drinks and probably a map of where I am so I don't get lost.
8.13.2010
Fact or Fiction?
Whoever said it, I hope they're right. It's getting harder and harder the stronger my feelings grow. People have it so easy and they don't even realize. I never knew how important body language was until now. I can't read minds, I can't tell if you're actually smiling via text, I don't know how you feel until you tell me. Which, in most guys case, they don't know how to do that. It's not their style, and I understand that. I've expected too much and I took it too far. Maybe one day I'll figure this out and we can both be happy at the same time.
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